Following

Following jokes

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Face

  • Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:

    Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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    Bullshit

  • This is bullshit! Stop showing cheesy and dumb jokes! This website is for dark humor, insults, and morbid content! All of you who don’t talk about the following, go die!

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    Cat

  • I walked up to a cat and started to sing a song. The cat said, "HECK NO!" then ran off. I follow it while still singing "BABY COME HOME TO ME!!"

    Ritual

  • As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.

    Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.

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  • Bottle

  • I got more followers than Charli, because I brought a bottle of filtered water and food through Africa.

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    Schizophrenia

  • Symptoms of Schizophrenia

    The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:

    Delusions

    Hallucinations

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  • Girlfriend

  • So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.

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    Fax

  • An Australian, an American, and a British man are on a golf course.

    They're all on the green and working out their next shot when a phone starts ringing.

    "Terribly sorry," says the Brit, but instead of getting out a phone, he twists his earlobe around to reveal a speaker and opens his bottom lip to reveal a microphone and takes the call.

    The other two are pretty impressed, and the Brit shrugs modestly.

    "State of the art British tech. Surgically implanted. Amazing stuff."

    They get set to resume, but another phone goes off.

    "Ugh, sorry guys," says the American, but instead of taking out his phone, he holds up his hand, taps the palm with his other hand, and it turns into a screen. As the other two watch, the American has a video call.

    When he's finished, the other two are impressed, but the American waves it off.

    "No biggie. Just the latest and greatest in digital communications from the good old US of A."

    Again, the three are about to continue their game when there's a strange, electronic sound and, much to the other two's surprise, the Aussie runs off into the bushes.

    The Brit and the American follow him and soon find the Aussie squatting down in the middle of a clearing, clothes around his ankles, bare-assed and grunting.

    "What the hell..." one of them says, but the Aussie holds up his hand in apology.

    "Sorry fellas, got a fax coming through..."

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    Survey

  • A UN survey asked the following: Please, in your honest opinion, could you give your thoughts on the food shortages in the rest of the world?

    It was a failure because:

    South Americans don’t know the word “please.”

    Eastern Europeans don’t know the word “honest.”

    Middle Easterns don’t know the word “opinion.”

    Balkans don’t know the word “give.”

    Chinese don’t know the word “thoughts.”

    Africans don’t know the word “food.”

    Western Europeans don’t know the word “shortage.”

    Americans don’t know the words “the rest of the world.”

    Then they simply explained “just donate healthy food to the global south to help.” But that still didn’t sit right with everyone, because Israelis do not know the word “donate,” and Pacific Islanders do not know the words “healthy food.”

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  • Orphan

  • Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.

    Orphan: But I don't have a mom!

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    Schedule

  • Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Groupings.

    Updated - Grad 2020 Commencement Schedule.pdf

    Dear Grad Parents, Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear. There will be more information to follow in the coming days. Thank you.

    (Shared from the "Wolves E-genda" app.)

    Indian

  • Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart.

    One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?"

    The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home."

    The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?"

    The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home."

    Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!"

    The not so smart Indian replies,

    "Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."

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