Flat jokes
Why are emo jokes so infamous?
They cut deep.
Why isn’t the Moon Emo anymore?
Turns out it was just a phase.
How many emos like anagrams?
Some.
What do you call those who remain My Chemical Romance fans?
Emold.
What is the connection between Emos and Darth Vader?
They both dress in all black and none of them has a father.
What do you call flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Who cares, let them cry in the dark.
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.
Anthony went into the bakery and ordered Emo Cake.
“Emo cake?” says the baker. ”What exactly is it?”
Anthony says, “It’s the cake that cuts itself.”
How do you pull an emo from a tree?
Cut the rope.
What’s the similarity between emos and unsalted popcorn?
They’re both white and flavorless.
What do emo birds call their mouths?
Bleaks.
What do you call an obese emo teen?
An edgelord.
Recommended: Fat Jokes
What do you call a gang of emo kids?
Suicide Squad.
How are cats and emos different from one another?
The cat still has 8 other lives.
Why does emo get tattoos of fruits on their arms?
They are playing Fruit Ninja.
What will you call Sonic if he’s an emo?
Sonic the Edgy hog.
Why would the emo swallow a clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Why are Emos still around?
Because the suffering never ends.
What is the best way to get an emo off your balcony?
You encourage them.
What kind of bath bomb does an Emo prefer?
A toaster.
What is the favorite game of an emo?
Hangman.
Why do people wish their lawn grass was emo?
So it could cut itself.
A group of friends started an emo salsa band.
They call themselves HisPanic at the Disco.
What is the difference between pizza and emo pizza?
Emo pizza kind of cuts itself.
Say, "Hey, you're pretty." Then she'll say, "OMG, thank you so much," or something cringe. Then you say, "Pretty f***ing ugly, aha, gottie!"
Yo mama so fat.
She is the reason why people think that the Earth is flat.
Your mom is so fat that she made the earth flat.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again
What's another nickname for a flat emo?
A copping boars.
I told my girlfriend that the world is flat.
She said, "but the world is round."
I said, babe, you are my world.
Your mom is like a penny: two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants.
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
Why is a wet pavement like playing music?
If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about?
My bitch as flat as her grannie's heartbeat.
Bitches do be so flat, you would think they have breast cancer.