Women be like men should pay for first dates then get made when you do...
What was the orphans first video game consol? PS5 because it has no home button
what hit the ground first in 9/11 the people
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I didn’t like my beard at first. then it grew on me
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
A leaf and an emo fell off a cliff, who landed first?The leaf because the rope stopped the emo
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Three old women are sitting on a park bench. A man in a trench coat comes and flashes them. The first woman had a stroke. The second woman had a stroke. The third woman couldn't quite reach
random Couple after their first night : Husband: it was very tasty.🥵 wife: aww thanks. Hus: does anyone had taste it before? wife:☠️
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: 'Why is my sister caleed Crasy horse and my brother Rushing water?' Mum: Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions 2 dogs fucking?
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live." "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "I've been trying to reach you for two days."
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
3 guys are standing in an alley on an alien planet and the psycho one says "However many tits your girl has is how many balls you have"
The first guy says "Ha! My girlfriend has 6! I'm racked up!" The second guy said "Eh, I am happy with 2 balls" The third guy said "Shit! My girlfriend is flat as fuck!"
A guy listening in enters and says "Bro you actually have girlfriends. I do not. Does that mean I have a pussy?:
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. Shit. My mum was like what did you just say child??? Sister: I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh...... Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... This pie is very sugarplum-y. She said what do you mean by that? I said It tastes like sugarplums...
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Two pirates, Morty and Sol, meet in a bar. Sol has a patch over one eye, a hook for a hand, and a wooden peg leg. “Ye gads, matey,” says Morty. “What happened to ya?” Sol says, “Me pirate ship was attacked, and a lucky shot lopped off me leg. So now I got me a wooden peg.”
“And yer hand?” asks Marty.
“When me ship sank, a shark bit me hand off. So now I got me a hook.”
“OK, but what’s with the eye patch?”
“I was standin’ on a dock, and the biggest seagull I ever saw poops right in me eye.”
“But ya don’t go blind from no seagull poop.”
“True,” says Sol. “But it was me first day with the hook.”
3 Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand. The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him. The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied,"It didn't tickle at all. I laughted at the sight the third guy was bringing over a pinapple."
first human comes. sans: that was pun intued
