Fire jokes

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.

On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

What is black and sits at the top of the stairs? -- Steven Hawking after a house fire.

When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.

Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.

Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?" Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."