Finish Jokes

I don't wanna brag, but I finished a puzzle in under a week and it said 2-4 years on the box.

Q: what does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common? A:They both go “ping” when they’re done

A Japanese man goes to the dentist after being there for a while, the dentist ask “ How of do you floss your teeth? The jap said “ after every meal”, when they finish up the dentist turns to him and “says you need to floss your eyes more, I can still see them”

Chris started to tell me a joke about nut, but he couldn't finish

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

is google male or female female bausecuase it doenst let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke

Mom:Dont forget to unload the dishwasher

Mom:did you finish ur homework?

Mom:We are going to ur grandmothers house for thanksgiving

Mom:Dad and i talked we are getting a new car next month

Son:u are?? oh my gosh thank you

Mom:No i was just making sure you were getting my texts

Son:that was cruel

Hey guys starting tomorrow I will put 1 letter of the doin your mom song every day. Can I finish the song? Also i might be in fortnite hehehehehe

I want to make a joke about old age but I'm too senile to finish it...

Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project? Work came to a grinding halt.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Things said by racist aliens:

"Some of my best friends are Green." "I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship." "You're very pretty for a Purple girl." "We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!" "Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people." "You 2-headed people are so stupid!" "No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes." "Get out of my store you grigger!" "The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"

Why didn’t Anne Frank just finish her diary? Concentration problems.

A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender I m here to assassinate John Tucker. The bartender replies he’s in the restroom. The hit man goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour. The bartender asks him did u kill him? The hitman replies with a sad face “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour and when I asked him what’s taking him so long he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started”.