Find jokes
What ankle is getting cut off of school? The lights.
Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!
As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.
Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).
P.S. I have no friends.
Hola! This is when I pranked my mom! I took a fake lobster and put it in the toilet. The fake lobster was in your attic, used for lobster parties, but anyway, I put the fake lobster in the toilet, so when my mom comes in she will find it and overreact to it. Well, she did not overreact, she FREAKED OUT OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
First she screamed and then she looked at it and she saw it was fake. laterrrrrrr that's the prankster!
Among Us players after saying "Self Report!" to the police officers who find a dead body in their basement.
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
What do you call finding half of a worm?
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moan for me.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
My mom told me to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
A pregnant woman enters the hospital with her concerned husband. As she goes into labor, a group of doctors asked him if he would like to try a device that transfers your spouse's pain to the father's nervous system.
He agrees and the doctors turn the dial on the device to 10%. Strangely, the man felt little pain. They continued to adjust the dial until it stopped at 100%, yet the man felt nothing. Later on, the wife had delivered the baby and the pair left the hospital with a healthy baby only to find the milkman laying on their stairs with a puddle of blood around his head, shaking uncontrollably.
Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
What do you call an orphan? Homeless.
What's an orphan's worst favorite movie? Home Alone.
Why can't homeless people find a home? Because they're orphans.
A shop assistant is helping a little boy who can't find his mum in the supermarket.
He asks the boy, "What's she like?"
The boy says, "Big Cocks and vodka!"
If an orphan wants food, who does it? No one. Everybody just watches him starve because they couldn't find his parents.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.