Finance jokes
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
Memes
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!