Finance jokes
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.