
Finance jokes
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
Inflation is so bad, McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
So today an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... Hhah.
What is the richest kind of air?
A millionaire.
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
🇻🇪 Finally, I am a trillionaire. Now I can buy bread.
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
What do cows call money?
Moola.
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
You're so poor, you only got 2 jokes.
Yaxaas?
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
What did the rapper say to the ATM?
"Show me the money, or I'll drop a BEAT!"
Doin (DYM 15).
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
Where do fishes keep their money?
In a riverbank.
