Finance jokes
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Where do fishes keep their money?
In a riverbank.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.