Finance jokes
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
The cashier asked if I wanted to give my extra dollar to the poor. I said sure, and I got a Cash App notification for $1.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
What can a gay man not be, but a heterosexual female that is a whore can be if a heterosexual male gives her enough money? 💸
cock teaser
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
I was in the bank one day, and this old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over.