Finance jokes
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
Where do fishes keep their money?
In a riverbank.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
Why did Hitler commit suicide?
He got the gas bill.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
Why did the orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
Yo momma's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Yoo! I found a $100 bill, found a child who said they lost their $100 bill. Gave them $25.
When God gives you glory, you give it back.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.