Father's jokes
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they can finally call someone "father!"
Why do orphans like to go to church?
Because they actually have a father there.
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
I have a short TRUE story of how I found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend.
When my brother was 12-13 years old, he fucked his best friend and I saw it. I was like 4-5 years old, UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. All I heard was "ahh" and "mmm". The only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". I was so traumatized that I told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "He's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT... NO YOU DUMBASS. He was playing the game "SEX", more like "GAY SEX".
I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that I heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend!
I actually got so curious, I opened the door and saw them doing "69". I was blank white after I saw it. I will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it.
(just a btw, I still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..)
(He ain't no virgin anymore I guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
Where can white people cook better than Black people?
On Father’s Day.
My girlfriend really wants me to get her pregnant so she would have a father figure in her life for once.
My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So that they had someone to call father.
Why do orphans only have 362 days in a year?
Because they don't have Mothers', Fathers', and Family Day!
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
What's the difference between a paralyzed kid and a father?
The father gets to leave, while the kid stays.
Why did the orphan grow up to be a priest?
So he could be called Father Les.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he could call someone Father.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
Moby Dick's father's name...
Papa Boner.