Fate jokes

Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?

A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

What do you call a snail without a shell?

Dead.

Titanic: "And I'm nominating everyone on board for the Ice Bucket challenge!"

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.

One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"

The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"

His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"

Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?

An apple a day, or you'll die anyway.

Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.

U were accidental.

Kenshiro is already dead.

There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!

My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.

She was eaten by a giant crab.