Fat jokes

Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.

You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!

I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.

Your mum is so fat that when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracked!

You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."

Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.

Borders are fat.

Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.

Your mum!

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

Did I tell you I finally got my wife to scream during sex? Yeah, you should have heard her the other day when I walked in on her.

Your mama is so fat. When she went skydiving, it caused a global panic.

Your mama is so fat and stupid. She got hit by a school bus. Her reply was, "Who threw that Twinkie at me?"

Your mom's so fat, she fell.

You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."

Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"

You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.

Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.

I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.