Fat

Fat jokes

Sister

You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."

Mum

Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"

Doll

You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.

Sex

Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.

I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.

Mama

Your mama is so fat. Her high school picture is an aerial photograph.

Mama

Your mama is so fat, I had to look twice to get a first impression.

Mama

Yo mama is so fat, she jumped on a trampoline and she broke it.

Mama

Your mama is so fat.

She went on a diet and solved world hunger!

Mama

Your mama is so fat, guys have to bring climbing equipment to have sex with her.

Whale

Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?

Random guy: Why?

Me: Because you look like a whale.

Tinder

On my Tinder profile, I said, "I prefer quality over quantity." I just thought it sounded nicer than saying "no fat birds."

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"

Mom

Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"