The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. (If I explain it, it won't make be funny this is a old joke my friend told me)
Wanna hear a joke about the flash? "Never mind it's too fast"
What do Paul Walker and I have in common? Neither of us have seen Fast and the Furious 7.
Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?
They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds
A teacher was teaching her second-grade class about the government, so for homework that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his dad and asked him what the government was. His dad thought for a while and answered, “Look at it this way: I’m the president, your mom is Congress, your maid is the workforce, you are the people and your baby brother is the future.” “I still don’t get it,” responded Little Johnny. “Why don’t you sleep on it then? Maybe you’ll understand it better,” said the dad. “Okay then...good night,” said Little Johnny and went off to bed.
In the middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother’s crying. He went to his baby brother’s crib and found that his baby brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his parent’s room to get help. When he got to his parent’s bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his parents were asleep. Through the keyhole, he saw his mom loudly snoring, but his dad wasn’t there. So he went to the maid’s room. When he looked through the maid’s room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his maid. Little Johnny was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud, “OH!! Now I understand the government! The President is screwing the workforce, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the people, and the future is full of s**t!”
Little Jonny what you like air plane how because you fly fast and jump high
If I tell Stephen about these jokes what is he gonna do chase after me he better run fast
My mom told me to get a job, so I did. One day my mom saw me I had money my mom ask me where did you get that money, my mom ask me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom ask me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the the guys some ans see you one by one and I get paid for it. My mom said your growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see in the shower.
Parademic are so bad go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise the tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race the race begin and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow the rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow so he decided to take a nap as he took a nap the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke the ran as fast as he could but when he came to the end the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
Ok Air Attack Productions... Beat This-Falling-By watersharky Productions and TD- My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down
Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van! It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come. We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! ̈Hey they want to party with us! ̈Timmy yelled over the whooping. ̈Party van! ̈I yelled. Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said ̈P O L I C E” on the side. We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. ̈Isn’t that right mommy? ̈
Your mother is so fast she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack
or I dont know!
prince / lord tallie Leave Gwen alone for once! by the way you are an idiot!
Gwen The prince! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOTALLY DEAD AND SO I STARTED DATING TANNER! But don't worry, I'll break up with him immediately!
prince / lord tallie Oh don't worry, I love it! By the way, can't we do our late night talk? My wyfi comes out just before we can! I love you even more! 😘
Gwen Oh thanks! I thought you would hate me! And yes, we don't have to chat at night, but the days are going to be choppy. I love you!
Gwen Bo to boring jokes
Tanner Fuck off
Kenya Bailey Excuse me?
Gwen Tanner, it was all my fault, I shouldn't have tried to date you so fast and did you see the talk about the boring jokes?
Zre Who the hell is tanner?
Ha Wait a second, he's your boyfriend!
Kenya Bailey Okay guys, let's not get into your business, okay! Let's see funny jokes
ha Yes you're right
Zre Ok
Zre Still, who the hell is Tanner! But hey, this your toddler's toy! Even though i thought i was prince
Gwen I thought Prince was dead so I started dating Tanner, then I realized Prince was alive.
What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play a alphabet game so she said what word starts with a lil johnny raised he hand fast but she know that he I would say ass so she picked on Sally and she said Apple and she said what word starts with b little johnny raised his hand as fast as he could but she knew that he would say something like bitch so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said banana so she went all the way to w Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter w she could not think of a cuss word that could start with w so she called on Little Johnny Little Johnny said wow the teacher said good job then Little Johnny said like wow too elephants fucking
Q: What do you call a chip that goes fast? A: A rocket chip.
Im going to do a song thats called Falling by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?". The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass", it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy", it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster", it'll go faster, "harder", it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hostpital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
