Farm Jokes

I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!

What's a cow's strongest part of their body?

Their "calves"!

Why are cows such great dancers?

They have all the best moooves!

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.

What does a pig call its dad... mom? 😂

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

why do cows have big because they have big balls

If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..

My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.

Therapist: What do you want to do when you grow up?

Me: Oh, I wan-

Therapist: Don’t say to be dead.

Me: Well, I want to be an entrepreneur. I want to sell land, pencils, oh yeah. I also want to sell farm.

What did the goat say?

"Let's play the grass!"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣funny joke yes

you have to tell this to a friend- There are 30 cows in a field 20 ate(28) chickens how many didn't? A: 10

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

He was out-standing.

Fancy playing rodeo sex?

"OK then," she said!

Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!

Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.

I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.

What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.

Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.

What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.

What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.

What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.

Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.

What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.

Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.

Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.

Pokemon: Why did the Miltank cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

What fruit do scarecrows love the most?

Straw-berries.

A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.

Why did the baby cow cross the road?

To find its mom who has the milk.

A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”

The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”

The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”