Farm jokes
How do you see the difference between a cow and a bull? It’s either one or the udder.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
I wish 9/11 was in December because the poor farm fields.
Like if you blow male cows?
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Q: What is a cow?
A: A bad cow.
What did the farmer say to the pig? "You snout to believe it!"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
An interrupting cow.
And inter-moo!
I brought a cow and named him Mayo.
Mayo Neighs!
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
Why do cows have babies?
They moo-ved together.
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."