Knock knock.
Who’s there?
An interrupting cow.
And inter-moo!
I brought a cow and named him Mayo.
Mayo Neighs!
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
Why do cows have babies?
They moo-ved together.
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
Why was the chicken screaming?
He had an egg stuck in his butt.
I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
Rooster.
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
