I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.
I remarked, "You lazy!"
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Teacher: Little Johnny, why are you late again?
Little Johnny: I had to be there for the birth of our first mixed cow, the white cow fell on the mud! (The teacher faints)
What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
Rooster.
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
Have you heard about the kidnapping at the goat farm?
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
What does a hear-moo say? "Fat cow!"
What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?
Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."
The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."
How do you f**k a duck?
Usually duck a f**k.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
"Fuck me right in the balls, you dirty cow!"
What do you call a running chicken?
Scared.
I was at a farm in France called âUber eats Farmer leagueâ, then I saw a strange creature called âPessiâ. He only appears against farmers.
He ran towards to me, I didnât know what I should do so I decided to shout âBig games! Big games!â Pessi scurried away.
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
