So I was f*****g this b***h right, and I thought I had aides. So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get aides. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight year old get aides?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
What do tampons and your sister have in common!
Mom: Daddy stop! Me: No! Mom: Ok I just wanted you do it like your father
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school. “Dad I got an F in Geography class!” “Why is that?” “The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building’” Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
Dad- Son do you want to play roc’ ‘‘em soc robots?
Son- sure, let me get it from the closet
Dad- No, bring your sisters, just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children. If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well according to my mom, I am.
Yo sis come here sis: what. Me: oh sorry you doing school sis: yup me can i go sis:no way you're going to hug me me: i love you
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500. The first replied:"For 500€? Of course!" The second said:"I'd do it for free!" The third replied:"I would even give her 200€!" The fourth replied:"With my ex? Never!
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’ I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
why can't orphans walk through door because they don't have a house to walk into
i love telling dad jokes,he always laughs
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today. Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow? Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you. Orphan: Why? Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan? The ant knows were home is.
what do spider-Man in orphans have in common There’s no way home
What's a benefit of being an orphan? No one makes yo mama jokes to you.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it it was quite strange until i realised it was Alfies mum
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes, they're so family friendly.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
