Family

Family jokes

Son

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

Suicide

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

Orphan

Why are orphans bad at poker?

Because they don't know what a full house is!

Orphanage

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

Orphan

Why can't orphans work at McDonald's? Because they call their employees family.

Bridge

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

Orphan

Guys, this is so wrong. I'm an orphan and this extremely offends me. I'm telling my parents, um.......

Dad

What does my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.

Bucket

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before kicking the bucket: "Hey, wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"

Orphan

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because it has no home button.

Teeth

Your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth.

Orphan

I would tell you an orphan joke, ehh I’ll just tell your parents instead.