Family jokes
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
What's the difference between cancer and my dad?
Cancer is still here. 😂😂😅😅😐😐😪😪😥😥😭😭
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Orphans more like or fans!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I love playing games with my family.
Why can't orphans play catch?
Because they don't have parents to catch the ball.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home plate is.
Why did the orphans have in common? They both don't have parents.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."
Hey guys, the prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to go to school.
Introduction: This prank was committed a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning!
1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives... well those are the main ingredients.
2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just to make it look really like barf...no going to school today!
3. I put it under the sofa just to give it some solid scent to it.
4. I fixed my breakfast eggs and bacon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need something its in my room I don't want to get cause it would waste time".
She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good"! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...absolutely nothing!
Well that's the prank. Anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee
What did the bison say to his son when he left the ranch? Bi-son.
It’s like I always tell my kids:
"Two in the pink, one in the stink."
What did the parents name their retarded baby? Dimitri
Your dad's a cunt.
You're so ugly your mom said, "I want an abortion."
Why don’t orphans have phones?? Because their parents can’t buy them one.
Why does my brother have no mom?