Family jokes
Conor MacGregor to Poirier: "Your wife is your husband!"
(After the fight, or should I say after the fracture.)
Poirier: Really, bitch?
Why does Sophia have no ears? Her mom gave her, her first haircut.
Why do orphans cry?
Because they got no family.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
*guitar solo*
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
My mom is actually a mum! 😱
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell him, "Clap your hands until your mom comes."
Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
Orphans more like or fans!!!!😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home plate is.
I love playing games with my family.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."
A Jew and a Jew walk into a bar. The goy says, "What do you want?" The first Jew says, "Give it alcohol." The second Jew says, "My son ran away and became Christian." Another Jew pipes in, he says, "My son too!" The bartender turns around and says, "You're not going to believe this..."
Why can't orphans play catch?
Because they don't have parents to catch the ball.
Your grandma is pretty old; she'll die soon.
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.