Family jokes
Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.
Why can't orphans play catch?
Because they don't have parents to catch the ball.
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
What did the mom tell her son when he asked for a bowl of cereal? "Sorry your dad wasn't came back with the milk yet."
Yo mama's ass is mad crusty.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not your.
Not your who?
Not your mama!
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
"Stop bullying me!"
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
How do people get skinny?
Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it comes back.
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back with the milk!
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
I once gave birth to 3 children.
What do orphans call a holiday?
A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.
Why does Sophia have no ears? Her mom gave her, her first haircut.
Why do orphans cry?
Because they got no family.
Me: I want a PS5.
Dad: Alright, I will say no.
Conor MacGregor to Poirier: "Your wife is your husband!"
(After the fight, or should I say after the fracture.)
Poirier: Really, bitch?