Family jokes
I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home, lol.
When you are bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Call their parents?
Why can orphans not play baseball? They can't hit a home run.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Where was your mom last night? In the man club?
Why can't orphans go to spelling bees? Because they can't spell "home."
Why are orphans always at school?
'Cause they can't be homeschooled.
What are an orphan's favorite shoes?
White Vans.
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?
My dad hates them both!
If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know how to get to home.
Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.
If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why does an orphan hate apples? Because they get picked on more.
Why can't an orphan have a website?
... No homepage.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because there is no home plate.
Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?
Because "family is everything!"
What do you call your mom?
Basement bound.