Family jokes
You're shorter than a thumbtack, like, boy, your auntie is probably taller than you.
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.
Why do orphans love playing with boomerangs? Because it always comes back.
Why does an orphan commit a crime?
Because it wants to be wanted.
A child's parents once lived in Chicago.
I wonder why he's in an orphanage now.
What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
Why can't orphans do it?
They have no one to call "daddy."
There were two sisters. They said they were supporting nine eleven, so I shot one of the sister's kneecaps, and the other sister got shot in the head.
My friend misspelled "Mexico" and got here.
He sucked his sister's poop hole.
What's the difference between my wife and her sisters?
Her sisters ate hotter, and I married the grenade.
Why do orphans love school?
'Cause people actually come back.
My balls when I see Tazzaro: boioioioioioing.
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Cause they don’t know where home is!
Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Knock, knock.
Who is there?
Your Nan.
WHAT? MY NAN IS DEAD!
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
I asked my nan if she wouldn't mind shitting in a bucket when we went camping. She replied, "Why the fuck would I want to sit in a bucket?" So eventually she did, and I took the best shit I have ever had!
Why do orphans like to be gay?
So they can call someone "daddy."