Why can’t orphans work at S.C Johnson?

B/c it is a FAMILY company 😂😂

Your at your girlfriends house for a family dinner. Your GF says, " Daddy please pass me the salt." when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.

Teacher: Describe a penguin

Student: Black, White, Beak

Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan

Student: Sad, maybe depressed, No family

Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow

Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes

Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?

Student: It describes you tho.

one day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. she picks it up "Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby." Sally says, “No, shes upstairs with Uncle john” “Uncle john? i don’t know an Uncle John.” “no, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy” “no i’m sure there’s no one named Uncle John in our family.” “Okay, but why did you call?” Says Sally. “Ummm no reason, just tell mommy that daddy’s pulling into the driveway right now.” “Okay daddy!”

long pause

"Okay daddy! I did it!’ “Great job Sally! What did she says?”

“Mommy said OH FU… and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. shes now resting it looks like… then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter…”

then dad replies “Swimming pool? we dont have a…is this 468-1843?”

Depression I got it. A girlfriend dont got it. A life dont got it. Help got it. Freinds dont got it. Family I got it. Best of all depression I got it !!!

How do orphans have a family reunion? They look in the mirror

can a orphan go to a family Resturant?

Q: why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?

A: because they were a racquet!

What kind of family pictures do orphans take?

Selfies!!

Can’t wait to meet you! So join the Depression family! We open real soon! Try best to hold onto sanity!

orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets em. ( also I banged ya mum ;) )

Watches sad movie with family

Everyone else: Crying

Sister: How aren’t you crying?

Me: I have no tear left to cry…

Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?

Timmy is dead

Incest is wincest (That was above) Fun for the whole family! Next of kin, count me in!

Do you know how Diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.

Why did the family move away?

Because they lost their son.

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.

On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.

“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

Little Johnny was eating dinner with his family. His mother went around the table and asked, “mark, what would you like to eat?” Mark said, “I’d like some fucking potato’s.” SMACK! mother slapped mark. She then asked suzie, “what would you like to eat?” “Well, I’d like some fucking potatos” said suzie SMAACK! she slapped suzie. “Ok. Johnny, what would you like to eat?” Well… I sure as hell dont want no fucking potatos.

Why can’t an orphan make a YouTube channel?

Cause they can’t make it family friendly

Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends family and food?

Someone told him that Shelby coming round the mountain.