Family Jokes

Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"

Genie: "Wish granted!"

When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.

Daughter: Dad

Dad: Yes honey

Daughter: Im Lesbian

Dad: Ok

Daughter 2: Dad

Dad: Yes?

Daughter 2: Im lesbian too

Dad: GOD does anyone like boys around here

Son: I do...

What did the twin towers mom say when she fed them, open wide honey here comes the air plane

Father: “Son, you were adopted.”

Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”

Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”

A brother and a sister always got into fights. One day the brother tells the sister, "your adopted" the sister yells back, "At least they wanted me!"

my mom said take out the trash and i said okay. the next day she asked "where is your sister", and i said in line to get crushed.

April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."

"Knock knock." Orphan: "Who's there?" "Not your parents."

How does E.T. have an advantage over orphans? E.T. can actually phone home.

My mom told me its not healthy to stay in my room all day....but the only places I’m allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

Why can't orphans watch PG movies? Because they are parental guidance.

These jokes are fun for the whole family to enjoy.

Orphan boy: "Your dad is probably disappointed in you. I mean, look at you." Me: "Well, at least my parents kept me. Where are yours?"

What song do orphans hate the most? "We are family."

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.

Never tell an orphan about a family matter; they wouldn't understand.

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

Little Johnny and his dad were going to buy a horse.Dad: Rubing on the horse’s chest and butt.Little Johnny: what are you doing? Dad: checking to see if the horse is healthy so I can buy it. Little Johnny: Oh well I think the mall man wants to buy mom.