Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
Family Jokes
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why do orphans play GTA? So they can be wanted.
Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Dark humor is like a dad - not everyone gets it.
Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.
I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a homepage.
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work... He’s a suicide bomber.
Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone!
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Grandpa: "You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table."
Me: "And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school."
