Family jokes
What's more annoying than uncles?
Ants.
Why does an orphan have an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
Why are orphans running around the world after the baseball coach said, "Go home"?
Because he didn’t know what the hell to do.
Your dad left for the milk because of your McDonald's hairline!
In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"
Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."
Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"
Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"
The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"
The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."
The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"
"Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"
Mom: ON THE PHONE WITH CHILD- Honey, is Dad late to pick you up again?
Child: No, Mum. Dad is here, but he is talking about me to Mrs. Lili, the math teacher.
Mom: Can you hear them?
Child: I think... they are watching a good movie.
Mom: Why do you think that?
Child: Because I keep hearing this *HOLDS ONTO PHONE* and clap, clap, clap.
Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.
Why do orphans love baseball?
Because it gives them a home to run to.
No one has my back like my dad.
What shows do orphans dream of?
Full House or Fuller House.
Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?
They don’t know what home is.
Say, "Moommy."
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.
Why do orphans love playing baseball?
They can always run home.
Why can’t an orphan play GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"
Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"
Boy: "What do you mean?"
Friend and me: "We can show you."
Me: "I will tie the rope."
Friend: "I will push the chair."
Are you a marry, because you are my mother?
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.