Family

Family jokes

Blood Type

My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.

Mummy

Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.

Grandpa

I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Memes

Abuse

I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.

Parent

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

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  • Dad

    What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.

    Accident

    Kids in the backseat make accidents, and accidents in the back seat make kids.

    Priest

    Why are priests called father? Because it's too suspicious to call them daddy.

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  • Orphan

    I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a homepage.

    Wife

    Wives are like grenades. Remove the ring and boom, the house is gone!

    Trampoline

    Bought my son a trampoline for his birthday. The ungrateful fucker just sat in his wheelchair and cried.