Family jokes

Why can’t orphans play baseball? There is no home plate.

My sister is so dumb, she genuinely spent lockdown studying for a COVID test.

I made a website for orphans.

It's all about parents who want children near their location.

I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.

My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.

My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.

Your mama is so ugly, her reflection ran away!

Hey, can't wait to meet you! So join the crippling depression family!!

Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.

My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god."

Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld."

Mother: "Yeah, I picked you up at the gift shop on my way out."

Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan."

A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.

The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."

They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family.

Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.

My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.

When a boy points at his parents, they disappear.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They can't find home plate.

Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?

Because it doesn't have a home button.

The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.