Family jokes
My mom interrupted my gaming session to tell me to hang up the lights.
I hung something else instead.
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?
The parents remember 9/11.
Your mom's so fat, she fell.
"Why are all these orphans here?" said Chris.
"Because their dad went to go get the milk," said MrBeast.
3 Years Later,
"I AM GIVING APPLE IN A SHARE TO EVERY ORPHAN IN THE WORLD, AND I'M ALSO GIVING EACH OF THEM 1000000000000 DOLLARS."
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
Why can't an orphan be a criminal?
They aren't wanted.
When an African has a twin, your me??
One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
Yo momma so ugly, your grandma wanted to name her Abomination, but the registries agent changed it.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Why don't orphans do homework?
They don't have a home to do it in.
What do you call an orphan?
Kyan.
What do you call my brother in the water?
"Tsunami."
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.