When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I ́m still choosing." She looked horrified.
I remember my grandfather's last words: "Is that loaded?"
They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family
The weirdest thing happened yesterday. My dad came back from work...
He’s a suicide bomber.
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
Grandpa: you can't have phones within 15 feet of the table Me: and you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school
Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi, Pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not."
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents."
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Home Alone."
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.
My mom ask stop making joke about suicide I answer- don’t worry ...I stop soon
When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology!” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.
So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."
What is stronger than family?
The tree Paul Walker hit.
When meeting her parents don't require you to leave the house
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
What is a similarity between a pregnant 14-year-old and the fetus inside of her?
They both are thinking "Shit! Mom is gonna kill me!"
What flour do you give a orphan
Self raising
