Family jokes
Why do orphans go to church on family day? cuz they get to spend time with their father.
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.
It's sad how families can be torn apart from something as simple as wild dogs.
What does your mom and a slinky have in common?
They aren't much to look at, but you can't help but crack a smile when you see them tumbling down the stairs.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
Little Johnny is walking around and peeks in his parents' room, catching them having sex. So he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply, "Nothing, nothing! We're just, uh, making cake," and they send him away.
So he continues walking around, and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother's room. He walks in and catches his brother and his brother's girlfriend having sex and then asks him, "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells, "Get out! We're making cake!"
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says, "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night, huh?" and she replies, "OMG! How'd you know!?" and Johnny replies, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
What is a pirate's favorite letter? A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
If an orphan gets a girlfriend, they finally have someone to love them.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
Child: I am hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I am dad!!!
Child: *groans* *walks away*
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
Why do orphans want to be criminals?
To be wanted.
I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!