Family jokes
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
Kid: "What's dark humor?"
Mom: "You see that man over there without arms? Tell him to clap."
Kid: "I am blind, Mom."
Mom: "Exactly."
Me: Are you an orphan?
Boy: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: ....ur parents.
Mom! (DYM 10)
I was playing baseball with orphans, but when they hit a homerun, they had nowhere to go.
One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.
I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.
We say “Father, I have sinned,” because it would be weird if we said, “Daddy, I have sinned,” right?
“Forgive me, Daddy, for my transgressions!” We say the “Our Father,” not the “Our Daddy.”
Me: Wanna play a game?
Sister: Ya, what is it?
Me: Tic tac toe.
Sister:?
Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.
Me: Tic tac toe.
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" The man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon."
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.
Why won't my boyfriend eat my pie? His brother made it.
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
Why doesn't the orphan date the girl?
Because she is a home-y.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
Why do orphans suck at web design?
They don’t know what a home page is.
Why do orphans want a phone so bad?
Because it has a home button.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.