Family jokes
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
Memes
Dad: "Honey, I'll be right back. I need to get some papers."
Me: "Okay." *Falls asleep.*
*Wakes up in an adoption center.*
Damn, it was those kind of papers.
How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...
Your hairline is so far back your mom can't cut it.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why did Sally die? She got stabbed by her mum.
Bob's Family Restaurant:
Orphans:
:(
What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?
They both cheated!