Family jokes
I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Yo mama is so strict that in The Outsiders, she was Darry.
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
Welcome to Alex's orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
Went home with a woman last night. I was greeted at the door by a Mongrel.
I say Mongrel, it was her Down syndrome son trying to process if I was a stranger or not.
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.
My mom picked my major.
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale and it said a.k.a. "error."
Say, "Moommy."
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
Imagine if Batman had a family reunion!
How are baseball and an orphan different?
A baseball game you can do a home run.
Why was the rapper always late?
Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.