Family

Family jokes

Dad

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.

Adoption

Mom, why was I adopted?

Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!

Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!

Orphan

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

Memes

Orphan

Why can't orphans be home schooled?

Because they have no parent to home school them.

Failure

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

Peepee

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

Mother

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

Mom

Your mom was absolutely getting drilled by me on the living room floor last night.

Insult

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

Orphan

Why can't the orphan take a family photo?

Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.

Orphan

Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?

Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.

Rapper

Why was the rapper always late?

Because he had to drop his kids off at the Rhyme Bus.

Incest

Incest

Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?