Family jokes
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
Sister.
My father can take a joke because he made one.
What do you get when you cross an adopted kid with a river?
Moses hits the adoption lottery!
Memes
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.
What did the mom say to the baby?
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
Ooh, I wonder what's on this browser. *clicks* "How to tell your kid they're adopted."
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
Hey Evan, this is Dad. Ya, I’m still not home.
Din mor ligner en banan. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
How can you make a orphans hand bleed?
Real them to clap until there parent come home.
Q: Why don't orphans turn up to parents evening?
A: Because they don't have any parents.
I didn't put my kids up for adoption.
My mom
Your mom dot com.