Family jokes
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
Guess whose parents didn't survive?
Liv's parents.
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
What do you call Moby Dick's dad?
Papa Boner.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.
Memes
Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
Yo mama so nasty, she gave yo daddy head, then gave you a kiss good night.
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.
I bought my sister a trampoline. She sat in her wheelchair and cried.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
Where can you find the most dads?
Milk Island.
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Yo mama so ugly, we all are trying to help her look better.
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
Read my name.
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!