Family jokes
A dad is in a wheelchair and his daughter goes, "Don't step on a crack!"
I told my sister I was into incest. She took it really hard. 😉😏
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
Why can’t orphanage kids play baseball?
Cause they don’t know where home is.
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
Your mom was dating a boy that had a twin brother, but she did it with the wrong one.
How did the digital clock show off to its mother?
Look, Ma, no hands!
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.
So I told an orphan if her mom is hot, he wouldn't stop crying.
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
Q: How do you stop babies from being conceived through incest?
A: Cum on your cousin's face.
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
"Son, I found a condom in your room." "Gee, thanks, Grandpa!" "Why are you calling me Grandpa?" "Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Q: Why do orphans get on Facebook?
A: Because they get liked.