Family jokes
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Why don't orphan criminals go to jail?
Because they weren't even wanted.
Batman: I’m vengeance.
Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.
Batman: ...
Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home base is.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
Why can’t orphans eat breakfast? Because there is no parent to feed them.
I found your parent!
My dad is so good at hiding, even the FBI can't find him.
I worry about him sometimes.
Yo mama so fat, even Bob the Builder said, "We can't fix that!"
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why do orphans love playing baseball?
They can always run home.
I used to have a son, but he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died. For inspiration.
Your mum is a baby, huh? Not a little baby!
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.
Baby (DYM 108).
Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(