Family jokes
As a kid, I was made to walk the plank.
Because we couldn't afford a dog.
Where does Kristen Stewart get her virginity from? She gets it from her mama and papa.
The only people who do yo mama jokes wish they had a mom.
One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.
Mom!
Memes
Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?
Mom! (DYM 22)
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
Why do orphans have no home?
Because they didn't have a family to give them one.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
Why did Ama cross the road?
To find his dad.
Why can't orphans go to school? They can't attend parent-teacher conferences.
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Why do orphans play baseball because they try to find home?
Sister.
I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.
What did the drummer call his 2 twin daughters?
Anna 1 Anna 2.
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."