Family jokes
Why do orphans have phones?
Because they don't know how to call home.
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
Answer: Because they never knew what love was.
What did the mom say to the baby?
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
Why can’t orphans go to school? Because they don’t have a parent to sign them up.
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"
Why can't orphans go to an amusement park?
Because they don't have parents!
No one has my back like my dad.