Family jokes

Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because they can't get a home run.

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."

What food has an orphan made?

Homemade food.

Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.

Why can't orphans use iPhones?

They can't find the home button.

Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.

His parents weren't too happy.

Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.

What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.

What’s the difference between orphans and cars?

I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.

Your eyebrows are far from home just like your dad.

I went to school on a Saturday. My teacher asked why I am here, so I replied that my brother told me to go to hell.

What do the Twin Towers and your siblings have in common?

Once they turn 18, they never come back.

Why did the orphan cross the road?

So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.

Why don't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

One day my kid with no arms came up to me and said, "Mom, what's dark humor?" I thought about it, then said, "Go wave to that blind person." He just looked at me, confused, but angry.

How did a man know his wife died?

Dishis start piling up.

When I get jokes. They aren't f****** restarted like you.

My sister.