Family jokes
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
He's got no home to run to.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
An orphan boy at my school did really badly on a test and started crying. I said, “Don’t worry, your parents won’t say anything.”
What’s the difference between orphans and cars?
I don’t have 1080 cars in my basement.
My gf/bf said: "I'm dating your uncle!" You cry and you look under your bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Kid: Which were me, are your parents?
Orphan: What are parents?
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot I have ever seen, though.
Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!
Why can’t orphans play baseball? 'Cause they can’t find home plate.
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
What is an orphan's favorite game?
Solitaire.
What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?
A full house.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
Why are orphans good at dodge ball?
Because no one misses them.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because that’s the only love they will get.