Family

Family jokes

Twin

What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourselves!

Memes

Comeback

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

Flour

What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!

Orphan

Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?

Because they need their parents to go pick it up.

Dad

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

Dick

My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.

Orphan

Why did the orphan go to church?

So that they had someone to call father.

Orphan

Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-

Accident

When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?

I think that you're an accident!