Family jokes
My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.
Me: Joe left today.
Orphan: Who's Joe?
Me: Joe mama!
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
Why do orphans play GTA 5?
To get wanted!
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
FUCK ME DADDY!!!!
Why can’t an orphan play baseball??
They can’t hit a home run! 😂
When the school shooter enters the classroom and it's the quiet kid's dad.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Why can’t orphans pick up their phone after school?
Because they need their parents to go pick it up.
Why do all orphans have iPhone 10-12?
They don't have a home button.
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
I love it when your parents come round for Christmas. I just wish we couldn't hear them through the ceiling.
Soldiers, there is one thing you can be sure of: You will be at home with your families, in a jar on the mantelpiece.
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their parents.