Family jokes
FUCK ME DADDY!!!!
Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.
Why does an orphan cry on Thanksgiving?
Family gathering.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
What do you tell twins that are in love with each other?
Go fuck yourselves!
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
Why do orphans play Minecraft? Because they have no home.
Why do orphans have an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
Kids?
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
Just walked in on my parents doing it! Worst 30 minutes of my life.
Why do orphans use iPhone X's?
Because they can't find home.
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-