Family jokes
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.
They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."
Why do orphans never play baseball?
'Cause they can never get a home run.
The greatest bond you will ever have is the one with your conjoined twin.
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Memes
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
Q: The person who makes it doesn't say what it is.
The person who receives it doesn't know what it is.
The person who knows what it is doesn't want it.
What am I?
A: A baby.
Kids?
Teacher: I was an orphan as a kid.
Students: Damn!
Teacher: Is anyone missing?
Students: Your parents!
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can't find the home plate.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal?
Because they aren't wanted.
I heard there was a kidnapping.
Don't worry, he woke up in the back of a van.
It was his father's friend who was a priest.
He was just bringing him to church.