Family jokes

A lady asked if I heard about the mass shooting in Ohio. I said yes, my friend died there. She said I’m so sorry. I said yeah, I tried telling him the police had good aim. Worse than that, he just found out his sister was cheating on him.

Why did an orphan go on Google Maps?

To try and find their parents.

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Your mama is so ugly, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

Orphan: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.

My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.

Why do orphans like to go to church?

Because they can finally call someone "father!"

So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.

What's the hardest thing to do?

Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")

Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.

Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."

I created a website for orphans, but there was no homepage.

What is never ordered in an orphanage?

A family sized pizza!

I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.

We are always joking around about being adopted, when really we are still living in the orphanage.

Why are orphans rude at school?

What's the school going to do? Call their parents?

Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?

So they can call someone "daddy."

What’s an orphan’s favorite Netflix show?

Fuller House.

Yo mama so hairy, she braids her eyebrows.