Family jokes

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"

What milk do orphan babies drink?

Not their mom's, though.

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?

They both went down on my dad.

What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?

They’re both alone, but only one is home.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find their home base.

What did the orphan say to his parents?

I'm tripping balls right now!

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.

My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!”

They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.

Friend: Like what?

Me: My name, my address, my phone number...

Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!

What part is usually missing in an orphan’s computer system?

Motherboard.

Why can't orphans become criminals? Because she isn't wanted.

I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?

I love working at an orphanage.

What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?

"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"

Orphan: What are you doing tonight?

Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.

Why did an orphan go on Google Maps?

To try and find their parents.

So I got my sister shampoo for her birthday, and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor.