My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
Family Jokes
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
I swear I always finish on page 3 when I'm looking at family pictures.
All the people disliking these jokes are definitely orphans.
Wanna know something the orphan could never do?
Wish anyone a happy Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.
Why do orphans go to prison?
Because that's their only home.
Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?
Because he isn't wanted.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because his options were to go bigger or go home. He only had one choice. :)
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
Children are like farts.
You can only tolerate your own.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.
Why did the orphan cross the road? They thought they saw their mother.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
You'll never be lonely at cousinsonly.com.
What's an orphan's favorite movie?
"Spider-Man: Homecoming."
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
