Family jokes
I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.
Why can't orphans hit a home run?
Because they don't have a home to run to...
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One's actually picked.
Memes
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Why can't orphans play video games?
Because they can't access the home screen.
Why does the orphan do robberies?
Because he wants to be wanted.
Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They come back.
What do you call an orphanage?
A parent-less shelter/homeless shelter.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
To be wanted.
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home. 😀😀