Family jokes
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
They come back.
What do you call an orphanage?
A parent-less shelter/homeless shelter.
Why do orphans commit crimes?
To be wanted.
Why do orphans play GTA?
'Cause they're actually wanted.
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
Memes
xbox
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home. 😀😀
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.
What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?
Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.
(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)