Family jokes
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
Yo dad's so stupid, he came back after he got the milk.
Mommy, when will daddy come back?
I'm not your mom...
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple actually got picked.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
A game that all orphans hate,
"Who's your Daddy?"
Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find a home.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
What's Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner.