Family jokes

Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?

A. His mom threw an oven at him.

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

If your daily is a Chevy, then your mom is super heavy.

"You is so black your mama fainted."

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

I pregnoot.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

What’s an orphan's favorite drink?

Fosters.

Your dad left you because he went for milk.

*1,000,000 years later*

Her: Dad come back!

Him: FBI open up!

Yo mama so stupid, when I told her she needed some cats, she came back with... CRASH, ARENA, TURBO STARS!

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.

Why are orphans good at dodge ball?

No one misses them.

When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.

Turns out, I'm just a burden.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

Fancy playing rodeo sex?

"OK then," she said!

Then put your dick in her ass and say it’s not as tight as your sister’s ass and hold on for dear life... real life cow bow boy shit!

Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?

It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."

I saw a kid crying and I asked him where his parents are.

I love my job at the orphanage.

What's the difference between oxygen and children? I don't have oxygen in my basement.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."