Family

Family jokes

Vanilla

What is the difference between artificial vanilla and Marjorie Taylor Greene's children?

Artificial vanilla comes from a beaver's asshole, the children from an asshole's beaver.

Orphan

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

At least one of them gets picked.

Dad

Jamal: Dads CAN grow on trees, Joseph.

Joseph: No, they don't.

Jamal: Yes, they do. I've seen it.

Joseph: ... that's not what you thought it was.

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple actually gets picked.

Orphan

Why can’t an orphan be gay?

Because they have no one to call “daddy.”

Orphan

What did the orphan's parent say when he got bad grades?

Nothing, he doesn't have any.

Orphan

Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?

Because everyone says go big or go home!

Orphan

Did you know the F in orphan stands for family... Oh wait, haha.

We should stop making jokes about orphans before they tell their parents... Oh, continue.

Orphanage

Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?

He should just go to his mom and dad!

Orphan

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.

Orphan

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

Cop

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

I got the joke from my brother.

Mom

I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...