Family jokes

I love telling dad jokes. He always laughs.

Why can't orphans walk through doors?

Because they don't have a house to walk into.

I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.

I’m a faux pa.

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

We found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra. No one is taking it harder than my dad.

Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."

Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"

Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."

Orphan: "Why?"

Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."

I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.

I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

The only thing drier than these jokes is your mom.

Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

Yo mama's so big, her belt size is "equator."

Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.

The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"

The second said: "I'd do it for free!"

The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"

The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"

The twin towers are like your father, they're both gone and will never come back.

What’s an orphan’s favorite beer?

Fosters.

What's the difference between the milkman and my dad?

Nothing, they are both one thing except he never returns with milk.

(I've been eating cereal with water COMBINATION!)

Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?

Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.

Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.

In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.

Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.

Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.