Family jokes

I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."

My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.

How do parents punish their blind kid? They move the bed.

An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"

One day an orphan threw a boomerang. It's not the only thing that didn't come back.

Why did the orphan go to church?

So they had someone to call Father.

Why do orphans play GTA? To get wanted.

Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?

A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

I watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. Only got caught once.

Why can't orphans hit a home run?

Because they don't have a home to run to...

What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors? Surrounded by loved ones.

A game that all orphans hate,

"Who's your Daddy?"

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One's actually picked.

What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

I will never forget my grandfather's last words:

"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"

Why can't orphans play video games?

Because they can't access the home screen.

Why does the orphan do robberies?

Because he wants to be wanted.

Why do sisters have to be in a relationship? Because you don’t have to worry about your car.