Family jokes
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.
My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
Your mom sings "It's the Final Countdown" while pooping.
What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?
"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."
Your gene pool is more like a gene puddle.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
Uder the sheets.
Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.
Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.
SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
What's the difference between herpes and my dad?
Herpes stays around.
Why was Timmy the only happy person in his family?
Timmy is dead.
Dads are boomerangs, I hope.
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why did the orphan go to church? So he gets to call someone father.
Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.
Q: Why can't the orphan buy Robux?
A: He could not use his mother's credit card.
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
What food has an orphan made?
Homemade food.