Family jokes
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
Why are orphans bad at hide and seek?
Because they can’t find their parents.
My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home. 😀😀
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can't find home!
Memes
yer a wizard harry
What show do orphans never watch?
"Fuller House."
Why do orphans pray to God?
So they have someone to call father.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't make it home.
My grandad broke his legs.
To cheer him up, I bought him a Walkman.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.
Why did the orphan go to church?
It was because he was looking for someone to call "Father."
Yo mama so fat, she has to use pillowcases for socks.
Your hairline goes so far back your mom can't even reach it.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
I figure it's ok to hit orphans.
What are they gonna do? Go tell their parents?