Family jokes
Why do orphans hate school?
No field trips. Parent signature_____________.
Lil Jimmy: Hey doc.
Doctor: Hi, sorry but I can’t see you anymore.
Lil Jimmy: Why?
Doctor: Because, Lil Jimmy, I’m a family doctor, you're an orphan.
Lil Jimmy: 👁👄👁🖕
Why do orphans have to have customized phones? Because there aren't home buttons.
Why do the twin towers and my mom have in common? They fell over.
Why can't an orphan go to a field trip?
Parent's signature: ___________
Memes
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
My life is so sad it's because you're in it.
How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?
Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"
What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?
Family Feud.
I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
A woman walks onto the bus with her child. The driver says, "That's the ugliest child I have ever seen!" The woman sits down and tells her neighbor. The neighbor replies, "Go say something back. Here, I'll hold your monkey for you!"
Why can't an orphan play baseball or softball?
They can't find home. 🤣
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
What's worse than ants in your pants?
Your uncle.
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s dick.