Family jokes
Knock, knock!
"Is that daddy?"
No, but I'm about to be, so get on your knees!
Yo forehead so angled, your mom could walk up.
I am an orphan...
How did the guy greet his wife?
"Howdy, sister!"
We were at a restaurant today, and my dad was talking about a place called Sea Ranch.
I asked, "What do they raise there? Sea horses?"
One day I was saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, “Yeah, what gave me away?” I said, “His parents.”
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
Why do orphans like boomerangs so much?
Because they come back.
Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."
What's an orphan's least favorite show? Family Guy ;)
It’s not like they can watch it anyway: it’s PG.
My sister's friends are hilarious, like seriously, haha.
Mum is the best!
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Mother.
Mother who?
Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!
Daughter: Dad, why are you so mean?
Dad: Because you are so mean, that's why.
Daughter: You so get on my nerves.
Dad: I am gonna slap you in your god darn head if you don't shut up.
Daughter: Wow, Dad, you savage.
Dad: 21 SAVAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daughter: Oh my God, I am tellin' Mom that you are doin' that thing again.
What do you call an orphan's parents?
Dead meat.
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
My mom left me at a very young age.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"
Me and kid: hug.
Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.