Family jokes
Why did the orphan go to church?
To hear some "foster" parenting advice.
What does an orphan and a military man not have in common? Neither gets to go back home.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
Memes
True as fuck
Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"
She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"
"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."
Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
When you have sex with a coworker but remember it's a family business.
Why did the Orphan go to church?
To call someone father.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
Why can’t you kidnap an orphan?
Because you can’t steal what was never wanted in the first place.
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed.
Lauren: Fine, but it's early.
*Karen wakes up and exits room*
*Lauren hears noise*
Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.
Lauren: *laughs*
Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*
Orphans always dip their Oreos in water, hoping their dad comes back with the milk.
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
Why are orphans good at dodgeball?
They can dodge adoptions.
Why can't orphans be gay? They don't have a closet to come from.