Family jokes
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your fat ass mom.
What's the difference between puppies and orphans?
The puppies actually get adopted.
Why do I go around making orphan jokes? Because they can't go crying to their parents. 😅
Why do orphans play Minecraft? Because they have no home.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
My sister said I'm stupid and I'm a baby, and I said, "Oh, I didn't know we were talking about you."
Best friend: Let’s get tattoos of our parents.
Orphan: I don’t have parents.
My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
This is NOT my joke. I found it on Google. It's a texting joke.
Mom: Son, your grandma just passed away LOL.
Son: Mom, what do you mean LOL? That means laughing out loud.
Mom: Oh no, I thought that meant lots of love. I have to text everyone back!!!!
What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
I love taking my daughter out in the car. Every time we go over a speed bump, I tell her we ran over another dog. 😂
Why was the orphan happy that he got in trouble at school?
Because the principal was going to call his parents.
Why did the orphan play GTA? Because he wanted to feel the wanted level.
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
I wanna date you.
Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.
Yo mama so dumb, she stuck a battery up her butt and said, "I have the power."
A mom gave her son "the talk". Her son replies, "Wait, so there really isn't candy involved? Guess Grandpa lied."
Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?
Answer: 16