OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.
But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.
Why did Sally not save the mountain climber?
Because it was her dad.
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.
What do u call a girl that runs faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin!
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station while Manners tried to help Shit.
When Shut up got to the police station he says, "My brother has just been hit by a car."
The policeman replied with, "OK then, first I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"No, I need to know your name."
"Shut up."
"Excuse me, but where are your manners?"
"Round the corner picking up shit."