Family jokes
Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.
I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣
Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."
What do phones and orphans have in common?
They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)
Stop it with the "yo mama" jokes. They are just offensive.
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
Yo mama so stupid, she spoke into a letter for voicemail.
We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.
What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?
Well, they weren’t always orphans.
What is hard to find but easy to make?
An orphan.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn't have a home page.
What is an orphan's dream?
To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.
The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"
The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!
My friend: You're ugly.
The orphanage: That's what I said to all my children.
The Sunday school teacher is a little concerned that his kids might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Little Suzy replies, “He’s in heaven.”
Little Mary replies, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny says, “He’s in the bathroom!”
The teacher says, “How do you know this?”
Then little Johnny says, “Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, “Jesus Christ are you still in there!?””
My dad still hasn’t come back with the milk. Now we are stuck eating dry cereal.
I got my son a trampoline for his birthday.
The ungrateful boy sat in his wheelchair the whole time.