Family

Family jokes

Mom: Are you seriously gonna die?

Me: No. Don't worry. Suicide is the last thing I'll do.

"Hey, Firesharky... How did you know if I was your brother when I'm not? You didn't even say my name, and plus, I'm lying about my name."

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

The parents used to hit him.

His parents got into a car crash and died.

He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"

How do you know when an orphan is lying?

When they say, "I swear on my mother's life."

Why couldn’t the orphan play baseball?

He had no home to run to!

Why am I banned from my Catholic orphanage?

Because the children kept calling me "daddy."