Family Jokes

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again, and she is even hotter!"

Father: "That's great, son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Peny, the other neighbor's daughter."

Father: "Ohhhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Peny is also your sister."

This went on a couple of times, and the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.

Son: "Mum, I am so mad at Dad! I fell in love with six girls, but I can't date any of them because Daddy is their father!"

The mother hugs him affectionately and says:

"My love, you can date whoever you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father!"

Being incest isn't that bad. I was fingering my sister, and I found my dad's old wedding ring. Winner winner!

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!

My dad said I should look if I could move a log. Well, he had to go get milk.

Why do orphans hate iPhones? Because they have a home button.

One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"

Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."

His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"

Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.

I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣

Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."

What do phones and orphans have in common?

They selfie! (It's because they don't have parents.)

Stop it with the "yo mama" jokes. They are just offensive.

Q: Can orphans hit a home run?

A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.

Yo mama so stupid, she spoke into a letter for voicemail.

We have Build-A-Bear; meanwhile, orphans have Build-A-Mom, or if they’d rather, Build-A-Dad.

What’s the worst thing to happen to an orphan?

Well, they weren’t always orphans.

What is hard to find but easy to make?

An orphan.

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

Because they need a parent signature.

I made a website for orphans.

Unfortunately, it doesn't have a home page.

What is an orphan's dream?

To get on top of the wanted list! 🤣

When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"

One day, the milkman came to drop off milk.

The boy asked the milkman, "Do you know where my dad is?"

The milkman replies, "I am your dad," then runs off like Batman!