Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
Family Jokes
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!
Once I said to an orphan, "What the 'F' means in 'orphan'?"
He replied, "There's no 'F'."
Me: "There's no family."
What is an orphan's least favorite movie?
"Daddy's Home."
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
Jaylie 😠: I don't care, what he said was so out of line!
Harvey 😁: It's funny!
Jaylie😠 : He said "Stupid, silly bitch face I raised! I should have known!" That's not funny, Harv!
Harvey 🙁: Come on Jay. Give Chris a chance?
Jaylie 🙄: Sorry but I'm a stupid, silly bitch face he raised. He should have known!
Harvey😟: That's not true!
Jaylie 😣: He even made fun of Kalierien. She is so sensitive!
Harvey 😡: SHUSH!!!!
Kalierien😡: Hi guys, how's your day?
Harvey😁: Good!
Jaylie 🤬: Mine was like living in hell!
Kalierien: 🤬SAME!!!!!
Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Momma?
Momma who?
Big Momma!
Family all eating at the table.
Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."
Sister: "Stop the cap."
Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."
Dad laughed.
Stepmom storms out of the room.
I still remember my grandpa's last words.
"Stop shaking the damn ladder!"
Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.
They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."
Girl: Rip, mother, I love you.
Me: Sorry for your loss.
Girl: Stop, I have a boyfriend.
Me: Stop, I have a mother.
What type of phones do orphans have?
IPhone XR—it has no home button.
Little Johnny was playing with his train and said, "All you motherf*ckers who want to get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who want to get on, get on." His mother hears him and asks, "Is that you cussing?" The mother said, "Go to your room for 1 hour." Little Johnny goes to his room, then comes back one hour later and said, "All you motherf*ckers who wanna get off, get off, and all you motherf*ckers who wanna get on, get on, and if you wanna know about the 1 hour delay, go ask the b*tch in the kitchen."
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can't find home!
What's a plus side to being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family size. T - T
On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"
The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."
The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"
The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."
Mother got shot, damn.
Father got shot, damn.
Sister got shot, damn.
Brother got shot, damn.
Auntie running away with a shotgun!
Where do orphans go to get a happy meal?
Orph-Donald's.
