Family jokes
Why couldn’t the orphan find home?
Didn’t have eyes.
I kidnapped an orphan. What are they going to do? Cry for mom?
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.
Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.
Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
An orphan's parents.
Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.
Friend: What was the first?
Me: They- they weren't always orphans.
Friend: O-O
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?
A: Because when you're there, you're family.
What are two things that an orphan can’t have?
Two parents.
Why does an orphan have an iPhone X?
Because they have no home button.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They do not have anyone to call "daddy."
What do you call your mom? Gay.
Why do orphans suck at baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
My teacher asked everyone how tall their grandparents were. I responded, "My grandpa is 5ft 10, and my grandma is -6ft."
What is an orphan and an apple?
They get picked.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"
Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."
A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.
Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."