Family jokes

Stop making these, I am orphan, pls stop.

What's the difference between a pregnant one and a light bulb?

One you can unscrew.

I got my husband a fridge for his birthday. His face lit up when he opened it.

My career is worth more than your adoption.

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Today, my family visited Disneyland. When we got to the hall of fame, I was shocked to find a statue of the BielefeldMan.

The tour guide said, "That’s Lewandisney. He owns the biggest collection of Disney TAP-INS and is a Mickey Mouse clubhouse member." Well done Lewandisney!

Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find home.

I bought my son a wheelchair for his birthday—turns out he couldn’t get in it.

Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."

I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk. (Goes to the store, grabs milk.) As I grab the milk, I thought, "Hey, I bet I can repeat her life twice."

My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.

So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."

What's the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back.

What’s the difference in an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.

So I had a friend who was an orphan, and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.

I can smell your kids!

Why can’t orphans tell jokes?

Because their parents can’t *bear* the *jeans* because they don’t have any.

When you tell your mom that she is bad at jokes, then she tells you, "Well, I made you!"

When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."

Your hairline is so far back your mom can't cut it.