Family jokes
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
Why did the orphan become a killer?
Because he knew they would not look for him.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
My parents are like the Twin Towers, only one came back.
You know, people should really stop making fun of 911....both my parents died.
One driving one plane, and the other driving the other.
What's the difference between Batman and a gay person?
Batman has no one to call "daddy."
Your dad is gone.
Mom! Mom! The class called me an orphan.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite beverage? Milk.
Teacher: "If you don't understand, ask your parents at home."
Orphan: "I don't have neither of those :c"
Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Mom: You will make me kill myself.
Me who has cut first: I'll kill myself ✨first✨!
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.