Family jokes

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? Neither of them can see their parents.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

'Cause they can't find home.

My uncle died on 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.

A bee said to his naughty son, "Honey, stop bee-ing abnormal and bee positive!"

Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.

Feminists: Correct.

Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?

Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.

Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?

Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.

A child is determined to burn his home down. His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm across the mother and stated, “That’s arson.”

You tell an orphan joke to an orphan. You start laughing, they start crying. They say they are going to tell their mom. Then you start laughing harder.

The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call daddy.

What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?

The orphan gets back up.

Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.

Why did the orphan wait in line?

To see their parents next.

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

Bully: "Shut up and give me your money, otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin."

Boy: "Haha, I am not a virgin anymore."

Bully: "Haha, nice joke."

Boy: "If you don't believe then ask your sister or brother."

Bully: "Hah, I don't have any sibling."

Boy: "Will just wait for 9 months then u will know."

My mum's a carrot.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"

I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."

He said, "What do you want?"

I said, "To be your new father."

"Really??!" the orphan said.

Me: Lol, no.

Orphan *Jumps into street*

What’s the difference between a parentless child and someone who is fond of unprocessed metals?

One is an orphan, and the other is an ore fan.