Family jokes
Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.
Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.
Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
A: One of them gets picked.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?
One you cut into 2 with a knife.
And the watermelon you cut into pieces.
Why do orphans love to play family?
Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.
How do you get an orphan sad?
You say you will tell their mom that they have been a baaaaaad boy.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home. 🤣🤣🤣
What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?
They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they don’t have parents.
Orphan: Let's play baseball!
Girl: No, you can't.
Orphan: Why?
Girl: Because you can't find home.
Why do orphans not play baseball?
Because they can't make a home run.
I cleaned my room today. While sweeping under the bed, I heard my mop collide with something. To my surprise, I found Pristiano Penaldo hiding under my bed! My dad said, “Don’t bother sweeping him son, he’s been dusted for years.” I was shocked but not surprised.
You: I want my mama.
Me: Soz, you can't even get one.
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
Q: What movie do orphans hate?
A: Fatherhood.
I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited.
Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited.
So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?
Grandpa: "Sonny, let me tell you something. There's only one damn thing in this whole world worse than Alzheimer's."
Boy: "What's that?"
Grandpa: "What's what?"
I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.