Family jokes

Why do orphans love foster homes?

Because they actually have a home.

What do orphans and people eating oranges have in common? They both are eating balls.

Why does an orphan hate apples? Because they get picked on more.

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.

I can't cum anymore. I can't put children through this.

What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?

I had a dad.

Why can’t an orphan be gay?

They don’t have a closet to hide in.

I told my dad I was self harming. The next day we talked about it and he said, "Hey you should CUT it out." It was funny but I couldn't bring myself to laugh at that.

I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.

He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"

Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your dad.

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.

Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.

Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.

Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

A: One of them gets picked.

I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

Why do orphans love to play family?

Because it's the closest they will be to being normal.