Family jokes
Why can't orphans have sex? Because they have no one to call "daddy."
If an orphan was Spiderman, which movie would he be in?
"No Way Home."
What was the ONLY difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples got picked.
Why did little Timmy dip the cookie in water?
"Because his dad never brought the milk."
Little Johnny walked in on his mom in the shower and said, "What's that on your chest, Mom?" Mom said, "Those are my headlights." Johnny: "Oh. What's that in between your legs, Mom?" Mom: "Oh, that's my bush." Johnny: "Oh, OK." Next, he walked in on his dad in the shower. He said, "Dad, what's that in between your legs?" Dad: "Oh, that's my snake." Johnny: "Oh, OK." That night, little Johnny walks in on his parents going at it and said, "Mom, turn on his headlights, there's a snake going in your bush!"
What's brown and sticky?
An orphan.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
Sike, I lied, your mom is a guy!
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
We thought that my mother died in the best way possible, during her sleep.
But when we did an autopsy on her, we saw she actually died in the worst way possible. During the autopsy.
Why do orphans have gross cakes?
Because their dad didn't come home with the milk.
Why can't an orphan be in a Scream movie?
It's always someone you know.
The best thing about an orphan? They don’t have to suffer from "your mama" jokes.
Little Johnny brings his cat to school, and then the teacher asked him why. Little Johnny says, "Because I heard my dad tell my mom I'm going to eat that pussy up when the kids leave!"
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
"Ur Grandma" You think you're funny? Well, sorry, but you're not.
His name is "Daddy!" HELP!
What’s an orphan's favorite Marvel film?
Spider-Man: Far From Home.
What did the parents say to the orphans?
"YOU CAN'T SEE ME!"