Family jokes
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me, so they can get adopted.
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
A dad told his son never to hit girls, so the son replied, "I promise."
When the son got older, he was doing the dirty with "a girl," and the girl says, "Spank me, daddy..." and the son responds, "My dad said never to hit a girl."
Then the "girl" takes off the wig, and it's his dad, and the dad said, "Good job, son!"
Son:...... um
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait........
You might say I'm mean but what are they gonna do..... tell their parents?
Wait..........
What does an orphan have in common with an 80-year-old woman? Their parents will never come back.
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
When your mom says it will all be ok if you just......... *there is blood on the floor*
Dad: "I'll be back in a minute."
20 years later
Orphan: "Dad?"
I had morning wood one day. Then my sister saw it and said, "I can help!"
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
"Ur mum is big."
You so gay you have a fat sis and?
It’s funny my sister wanted to have sex with me.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
Why is an orphan like a boomerang? Because they always come back.