Family jokes
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.
Yo mama so fat, she took both sides of the family.
Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.
When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!
Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?
Q: What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?
A: A baseball field has a home base.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
What do you call a dad without a dad joke?
Dead.
What relationship status fits an orphan?
Single.
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't!
Teacher: I was an orphan as a child.
Student: Sorry to hear.
Teacher: Is anyone missing today?
Student: Your parents.
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
Orphans can't call their parents if they get hurt! Sorry.🩹