Family jokes
I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.
They said: "Because I lost my parents."
I said: "Let's find them."
They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
What's a name orphans hate to be called?
"Homie."
"Mom, these balloons are hard to blow."
"Son, stay out of the drawer."
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.
Yo mama so fat, she took both sides of the family.
Yo mama so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
When you ask your mom for candy but you grab from the wrong drawer...
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
Your hairline is so repulsive that my entire family got eye cancer from seeing it, and it goes so far back that you be looking like Vegeta.
When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!
Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?
Q: What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?
A: A baseball field has a home base.
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-