Family jokes
I will never forget my grandfather's last words:
"Can you hold the ladder correctly, damn it!"
Roses are red, violets are black, your mum's so fat she sold her son for 10 Big Macs.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Meant to say my friend's nan, not man.
Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?
Why is everyone trying to make a big deal out of this? My family were only flying to Pakistan and crashed into 2 towers.
Why do orphans bully people?
Because they can't get suspended.
Contact Parent _______
Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.
Why do orphans sit in apple trees?
They wait to be picked.
How do people get skinny?
Their parents don't feed them. (JOKE)
My mom left me at a very young age.
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
Why can’t an orphan go on a field trip?
'Cause they need a parent's signature.
A Chinese couple had a black baby and named him Sum Ting Wong.
Little Johnny said to his mate, "I bet I can make you swear." His mate said, "Good luck." So Johnny told his mate that he slept with his sister. His mate yelled, "I'm gonna fucking kill you!"
What type of movies are orphans not allowed to watch?
PG movies.
Why don’t orphans play baseball? Because they don’t have a home to go to.
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
What's the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.