Family jokes
What do you call when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
I made Google Earth for orphan kids.
Sadly, it does not show where home is.
Why did an orphan say, "I'm wanted?" Because they wanted to feel a lie in their life.
Your mom is hot.
Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?
'Cause their dad never came back with it.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Their dad never came with the milk.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Why do orphans can't play baseball? They don't know where home is.
Teacher: What is your least favorite holiday?
Orphan: National Forgive Your Mom And Dad Day.
Teacher: Why is that your least favorite?
Orphan: Because I don't have any parents to forgive.
Teacher: *tries to hold back* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
Why do orphans not like July 24th??
Because it's Parents Day.
What is wrong with orphans' phones?
They'll never have a home screen.
Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?
Because they won't have a parent to cry to.
Why did orphans play Poppy Playtime?
To get a family.
Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
After arriving home from helping the priest, a young altar boy approaches his parents, "Mommy, Daddy, my poop is white!"
The mother rushes the boy to the hospital, while the father rushes to church in a rage and proceeds to beat the living hell out of the priest. Afterwards, the father heads to the hospital and meets his wife in the waiting room; she's surprisingly calm.
"How can you be so relaxed after what that bastard has been doing to our son?" he exclaims.
The wife looks up at him, "What are you talking about? It's just a liver infection!"
Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.
So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."
"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Because they actually come back.
What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
They can't see their parents.