Family jokes
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
Top five places to find your dad's orphans is Milk Island.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? There is no home plate.
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
If your dad didn't bring the milk, what are you dipping your cookies in?
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
You know, their family dinners must be so happy.
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
When you look exactly like your dead cousin and everybody thinks she faked her death.
FUCKING MENT
My brother: What are you looking at?
Me: A mistake.
Why did the orphan misbehave in school?
Because the principal couldn't call their parents.
Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?
Because it had no home button.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home base is.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?
A baseball player has a home to run to.
What does water see in orphans that they don't? Their parents.
My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"
I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."
He asked, "In an orphanage?"
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.