Family jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
Like this if you laughed.
These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.
I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)
Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.
What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.
Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!
Your mum's so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."
Why can't orphans score in baseball?
They can't find home.
What is a show an orphan will never be able to relate to?
"Full House".
By the way, infertility is hereditary:
If your parents did not have children, you will not have any.
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.
"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.
(Later)
"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"
Why do orphans only have iPhone XR?
Because they don't have home buttons.
What do you do when you are angry with an orphan? Hit them.
It's not like they can tell their parents.
Batman: I’m vengeance.
Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.
Batman: ...
Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
What's the difference between orphans and apple trees?
The apples actually get picked.
My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.
Why do orphans like Darth Vader?
So he can say, "I'm your father!"
Hi guys, jokes for sister.
So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home base to run to.