Family jokes

I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.

Your hairline is as nonexistent as your dad.

One time I was with my uncle. He said to me to pass him the marble on the floor. All I heard was my butt clapping with his sausage.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to celebrate their marriage.

Nine months later, they happily had some use for their baby carriage.

Two years later, they went up again, then their daughter had a brother.

But one little secret that no one knew was that Jack and Jill share a mother.

I prank called someone saying, "SON! IT'S ME, SON! I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!" My friend next to me asked who I was calling, and I said, "the orphanage."

One time, little Johnny was watching TikTok, and he saw a toy that he wanted so badly, so he cleaned up the whole house and did his homework. When he was done, he saw a spill on the table. He went to the sink to grab a cloth, but when he came back, it was gone. He went to his mom's room and saw a drink with the label "daddy's drink," so he drunk it and said, "It's daddy's; he won't mind," and all day he was like the Flash. So he went back, turned the bottle around, and it said "Speedy," and then he said, "Oh, great heavens!"

Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?

He is waiting for his dad with the milk.

My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!

My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.

You're so skinny, your mom actually enjoyed your birth!

After seeing you sing, the dog got disinfected from rabies.

You call me a prostitute's son, I call you test-tube babies.

Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.

What do you call an autistic daughter?

My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.

I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)

Why don't orphans have any friends?

Because they don't have homies.

If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.

What do orphans get on Xmas?

Lonely.

Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.

My dad went to go get milk.