Family jokes
What do you call an autistic daughter?
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
Why don't orphans have any friends?
Because they don't have homies.
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
What do orphans get on Xmas?
Lonely.
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
My dad went to go get milk.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because it can never find home.
When you tell an orphan, "I did your mom in your home," and they start crying.
Me: You f&*k up.
The class: Oh sh!&
When you ask your brother where his hairline is, and he points where it's supposed to be, and you say, "I don't see one there."
What is the similarity between Hitler and orphans?
They both don't have parents.
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
What’s an orphan's favorite beer?
Foster's.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?... One always gets picked.
Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.
Your mom is a slow comedian. It took her 9 months to make a good joke.
I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."